A filtered life, a quiet life, a sheltered life: these can mean different things to different people. To me it means choosing to build an invisible wall between my life and other people. Not because I think others are a bad influence on my peace, but because I want to protect my energy, my vision, and my authenticity.
It’s like a garden has a fence. The fence protects so something delicate can grow.
This withdrawal is a choice, almost a necessity if I want to feel like myself and feel alive. People can still see me, and I can still see them, but the invisible door stays close. I decide who comes in. Only a small number of people do, the ones I feel comfortable with.
To some people it might seem like a very small world. For me, it’s quite the opposite. I hear myself better because the noise is gone. I am more connected with myself. I can feel my emotions and have time to reflect.
My energy is preserved, so I know what I see in front of me and what I want. Inside the fence are books, writing, education, art, social media, and taking care of myself. There is also connection, but only with the few people I feel safe with. If you are like me, you are not a lone wolf. You just don’t need a crowd to feel strong.
Needing less company is not the same as caring less. I love people. I just don’t need to be physically close to them to feel them, to see them. It’s like I don’t need to go to church to be close to god, or to universal power. I don’t need to keep up constant social interaction either. I will make a small talk if I want to, or if it’s absolutely required of me at the moment, but I don’t need it in order to like someone or sympathize with them.
There was a time when I saw it as a major flaw: wanting distance from people and avoiding frequent interactions. Now I am deeply thankful for the opportunity to build my own world.
If you recognize yourself in the description, you can let go of the need for others to understand you. It’s not your problem if they don’t. There are many things about the extraverted world that I don’t understand and I accept it. We just have different temperaments and different social needs, but we are the same people underneath.
This is a sheltered life. It’s a life I choose, and the fence stands where I place it.
